ALOT

WishList 2005

1. Backpacking

2. Brazillian Waxing

3. Full Face Waxing

4. Car Licence

5. Crazy Shopping Spree

6. EarringSSssss

7. Bike Licence

8. Taste Weed

9. New Handphone

10. Makeover

11. Lose 10kg

12. New Pair of Jeans

13. SunGlasses

14. A Pair Of Shoes

15. Siberian Husky Pup

16. Ball Python
not wat i was expecting
but juz as cute^^

17. Clubbing In Malaysia

18. Slack At A Beach Resort

19. Get A Good Watch For My Mummie

20. Get A Mont Blanc Pen For Daddie

21. PlayStation 2

22. Another Pair Of Jeans

23. Earphones

*smiles*

Archives

.:.August 2004.:.
.:.September 2004.:.
.:.October 2004.:.
.:.November 2004.:.
.:.December 2004.:.
.:.January 2005.:.
.:.February 2005.:.
.:.March 2005.:.
.:.April 2005.:.
.:.May 2005.:.
.:.June 2005.:.
.:.July 2005.:.
.:.August 2005.:.
.:.September 2005.:.
.:.November 2005.:.
.:.December 2005.:.

Friends

.:Danyael:.
.:Daryl:.
.:DreamBoi:.
.:LostBody:.
.:Ivan:.
.:Jacy:.
.:Nad:.
.:Princess:.
.:Ray:.
.:Red:.
.:Sheepie:.
.:Stacy:.
.:Veronica:.
.:Vik:.

I have a feeling crap in my relationship is gonna happen again.

2 nites ago, matt told me he was going to a dirty bar wif his friends. This isn't the 1st time… I have always trusted him not to do anything to hurt me, but this around.. the stories he told me last night juz shattered me.

He told me, that his friends juz wanted to have a fun night out and it was a must that he went.. coz his friends' been bugging him. I was waiting for his call that night… he called me at 1140 plus telling me he would be him in 15-20min. so I waited… apparently.. he onli got home an hour and a 1/2 after that.. I woke up in the morning feeling like I've cheated again. 1 and a half hours after going to a dirty bar.. anything could happen. next morning he tried calling me… I was busy and still pissed… called him back after a couple of missed calls… he seemed all normal about it telling me that they had trouble sending his friend, Dickson home. So I for-goed the matter… until last night when I heard everything in detail.

Last night, we were having dinner at Tamp(yes.. I went to tamp… the god forsaken ditch). It was then he told me about wat happened in the pub. He told me that juz to please his friends, he had a girl in his arms… he was telling me how he was avoiding her kisses, how she was trying to seduce him, how she kisses his cheeks and when she did he would wash his face… then his story changed abit… he said that they went for supper after sending dickson home… becoz jeffery was hungry. All the while, I tried to smile tried, to luff, tired to make a joke out of everything, but it still hurts. I just didn't know wat to say… I didn't wan my past to repeat it self.. all the lies… all the cheating.. all the fake stories… the quarrel.. the tears… I juz can't take it. So I juz played along…

I gave him freedom to do watever he wanted, to go where ever he wanted, but isn't he taking things forgranted? all I did this morning was cry, haha… wat a wussy right? I jus dunno wif I can carry on in this relationship and I dunno why I'm feeling all upset and bitter, this didn't use to be like tat last time… I dun think I'm gonna say anything to him about it… I dun see a point in spoiling people's fun. All the guys I date seem to end up to be the same thing.

Prolly I'm really juz not meant to be in any relationship for too long.

Prolly I'm juz over reacting, over thinking, and over possessive… but its not right, is it?

*Sigh* ain't it fun falling in love.