Profile
And I really do mean
ALOT
WishList 2005
1. Backpacking
2. Brazillian Waxing
3. Full Face Waxing
4. Car Licence
5. Crazy Shopping Spree
6. EarringSSssss
7. Bike Licence
8. Taste Weed
9. New Handphone
10. Makeover
11. Lose 10kg
12. New Pair of Jeans
13. SunGlasses
14. A Pair Of Shoes
15. Siberian Husky Pup
16. Ball Python
not wat i was expecting
but juz as cute^^
17. Clubbing In Malaysia
18. Slack At A Beach Resort
19. Get A Good Watch For My Mummie
20. Get A Mont Blanc Pen For Daddie
21. PlayStation 2
22. Another Pair Of Jeans
23. Earphones
*smiles*
Archives
.:.August 2004.:..:.September 2004.:.
.:.October 2004.:.
.:.November 2004.:.
.:.December 2004.:.
.:.January 2005.:.
.:.February 2005.:.
.:.March 2005.:.
.:.April 2005.:.
.:.May 2005.:.
.:.June 2005.:.
.:.July 2005.:.
.:.August 2005.:.
.:.September 2005.:.
.:.November 2005.:.
.:.December 2005.:.
Friends
.:Daryl:.
.:DreamBoi:.
.:LostBody:.
.:Ivan:.
.:Jacy:.
.:Nad:.
.:Princess:.
.:Ray:.
.:Red:.
.:Sheepie:.
.:Stacy:.
.:Veronica:.
.:Vik:.
Ideal Guy/Dream Guy
1. Tall [Prolly 1.76m]
2. Good Family Background
3. Sexy body
4. Chinese
5. Drives A Nice Car
6. Rides A Nice Bike
7. Able To Afford Me
8. Owns A Nice Tattoo
9. Smart/Street Wise
10. English Educated
11. Staying Near My Area
12. Parents Agreement [Vic Versa]
13. Kind Hearted
14. Romantic
15. Average Looking
16. Good Career
17. Gives In To Me
18. On My Frequency Of Thinking
19. Able To Click Well
20. Great In Bed
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
OKie so this is SOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo out of everything..... anywya b4 i get today...
had a really WET day at sentosa today... i wanted to soak up sum sun but me and jacy ended up soaking in the rain.... it was cold and boring... LOL and sadly her radio died out 1/2 too... LOL anyways... its okie... i enjoyed being wif jacy... she's really a sweet friend... and a funnie one too... we r plannign to try our lucky next week.... to soak up sum sun that is...
Juz sum pic for your viewing pleasure
After that horrible day at sentosa... i accoompanied jacy back to her place.. coz i actually thought of dragging her along for my advance theory today... but it turned out... we were juz plain tired... so i juz sat at her place, blew abit of air-con, ate my Zinger burger(which i dropped all over her floor.. LOL) and watched sum tv while i did a trial test... LOL
Now on to my test... i think i flung it... *sobz* the questions were juz plain.. *growls* stupid! "why r motorist in the most danger?" answers: (A)coz cars dun giev way (B)coz theyr young and reckless (C) cpz the r hardly visiblë... i mean like wat teh fuck....... call me stupid but i really dunnoe which oen it is.... *sigh* please let me pass!!!!!!! i wan my lic...s o i can bg my daddie to get me a car... i'm so sick of taking the bus. *sobz*
Okie so now on to Bryan again.... i have no idea how to start... okei iwas in the shower... when i got out... i got 3 missed calls and 2 sms... all frm Bryan... he tells me in the sms that eh has onli 10min to talk to me, coz he is under a punishment.. i was i like aw... poorthing.. so i called him... he told he that he is under punishment for comign back late to camp today... coz he had an appoinemt for sum foot thing. then he told me that his sergt said that he coudl use the fone.. but onli for 10min then he also has to do pumping for the sergt until he is pleased... so bryan said okie.. coz he had sumthign important to talk to his girl about.
So anyway... yea bryan told me all this and he explained that he didn't know and that he was veri sori for everything that happened. he didn't mean to and that he was veri sori and he was veri sori again... and that this saturday's movie woudl be his treat... and that he relaly didn't wan to let this relationship go coz its already 1 year plus already... -.-|||
i seriously have given up on this relationship already... i really really juz dun wan it already.. but i dunno why.. everytime he tells me sumthing sweet and that he is sori, i juz melt right back... *sigh* why.... why!!! why me!!!! he has so many girls why does he wan this relationship? *sigh*
had a really WET day at sentosa today... i wanted to soak up sum sun but me and jacy ended up soaking in the rain.... it was cold and boring... LOL and sadly her radio died out 1/2 too... LOL anyways... its okie... i enjoyed being wif jacy... she's really a sweet friend... and a funnie one too... we r plannign to try our lucky next week.... to soak up sum sun that is...
Juz sum pic for your viewing pleasure
After that horrible day at sentosa... i accoompanied jacy back to her place.. coz i actually thought of dragging her along for my advance theory today... but it turned out... we were juz plain tired... so i juz sat at her place, blew abit of air-con, ate my Zinger burger(which i dropped all over her floor.. LOL) and watched sum tv while i did a trial test... LOL
Now on to my test... i think i flung it... *sobz* the questions were juz plain.. *growls* stupid! "why r motorist in the most danger?" answers: (A)coz cars dun giev way (B)coz theyr young and reckless (C) cpz the r hardly visiblë... i mean like wat teh fuck....... call me stupid but i really dunnoe which oen it is.... *sigh* please let me pass!!!!!!! i wan my lic...s o i can bg my daddie to get me a car... i'm so sick of taking the bus. *sobz*
Okie so now on to Bryan again.... i have no idea how to start... okei iwas in the shower... when i got out... i got 3 missed calls and 2 sms... all frm Bryan... he tells me in the sms that eh has onli 10min to talk to me, coz he is under a punishment.. i was i like aw... poorthing.. so i called him... he told he that he is under punishment for comign back late to camp today... coz he had an appoinemt for sum foot thing. then he told me that his sergt said that he coudl use the fone.. but onli for 10min then he also has to do pumping for the sergt until he is pleased... so bryan said okie.. coz he had sumthign important to talk to his girl about.
So anyway... yea bryan told me all this and he explained that he didn't know and that he was veri sori for everything that happened. he didn't mean to and that he was veri sori and he was veri sori again... and that this saturday's movie woudl be his treat... and that he relaly didn't wan to let this relationship go coz its already 1 year plus already... -.-|||
i seriously have given up on this relationship already... i really really juz dun wan it already.. but i dunno why.. everytime he tells me sumthing sweet and that he is sori, i juz melt right back... *sigh* why.... why!!! why me!!!! he has so many girls why does he wan this relationship? *sigh*
I felt so bad today~ my childhood friend's bday and i didn't get her a thing... Her husband, Bronzee was so sweet... he forked out all his money juz to get the new ericsson phone for her... juz becoz she said that she was envious of pple having colour phones... he even got her the lastest model... 700 sumthing... addie is so lucky...
But sadly i felt so out of place today... coz i guess i couldn't mix will wif her friends... luara wan chirstina was at her place to... the 3 of them were like... so erm... close... i felt i shouldn't even be there... than god Joyce, addie's sis was back frm UK... she there to talk to me most of the time wif Bronzee... *phew*
We had pizza, sushi and cake... My god... u should had seen how big the slices were... They were so HUGE! coz she sis juz got back frm the UK and she is so used to the huge servings of food there that she brought it home wif her... i could'hardly even finish 1/2 the cake....
Well.. okie.. i bet its no surprise that i'm gonna talk about bryan again... but yea... i really wished he didn't sms or tried callign me today... my heart totally melted again.... he smsed me sutmhign like he woudl be relased tmr coz he had to go for sum appointment for his foot... but i juz sms him, telling him that he sould juz forgte the whole relationship coz this whole is wouldn't work out no matter how hard we try.... i also told him that thsi whole thing is juz makign the both of us suffer for nth... and that he should find sumone he really loves, not like the way that he is forcing himself to love... even thou he did try his best ... its was juz not there... then he replied me telling me that i'm making him suffer but he respects my decisions... i replied him telling him that he was not the onli suffering... then i got a message frm him telling sumone else that that he had bad news and that he broke up wif me... *wat pride Seehhesss* then he messaged me good night wif a *muacks* my heart truned to butter and i *muacks* him back.... *rolls her eyes* wat a weakling i am... and THANK GOD! he had to return his phone... *phew*
okie so all in all in this long long and boring mushy paragraph... we broke up but we r still kissing... *sheese* i juz really hope he won't call him tmr... even if get into depression i still dun ever wan him to call me... it woudl make both our lives so much easier and simpler if we juz got a new partner and start anew life... thsi relationship is juz not healthy in anyway... *sigh*... i miss him already but i hate this relationship so much... talk abot indecieve... *rollls her eyes again*
But sadly i felt so out of place today... coz i guess i couldn't mix will wif her friends... luara wan chirstina was at her place to... the 3 of them were like... so erm... close... i felt i shouldn't even be there... than god Joyce, addie's sis was back frm UK... she there to talk to me most of the time wif Bronzee... *phew*
We had pizza, sushi and cake... My god... u should had seen how big the slices were... They were so HUGE! coz she sis juz got back frm the UK and she is so used to the huge servings of food there that she brought it home wif her... i could'hardly even finish 1/2 the cake....
Well.. okie.. i bet its no surprise that i'm gonna talk about bryan again... but yea... i really wished he didn't sms or tried callign me today... my heart totally melted again.... he smsed me sutmhign like he woudl be relased tmr coz he had to go for sum appointment for his foot... but i juz sms him, telling him that he sould juz forgte the whole relationship coz this whole is wouldn't work out no matter how hard we try.... i also told him that thsi whole thing is juz makign the both of us suffer for nth... and that he should find sumone he really loves, not like the way that he is forcing himself to love... even thou he did try his best ... its was juz not there... then he replied me telling me that i'm making him suffer but he respects my decisions... i replied him telling him that he was not the onli suffering... then i got a message frm him telling sumone else that that he had bad news and that he broke up wif me... *wat pride Seehhesss* then he messaged me good night wif a *muacks* my heart truned to butter and i *muacks* him back.... *rolls her eyes* wat a weakling i am... and THANK GOD! he had to return his phone... *phew*
okie so all in all in this long long and boring mushy paragraph... we broke up but we r still kissing... *sheese* i juz really hope he won't call him tmr... even if get into depression i still dun ever wan him to call me... it woudl make both our lives so much easier and simpler if we juz got a new partner and start anew life... thsi relationship is juz not healthy in anyway... *sigh*... i miss him already but i hate this relationship so much... talk abot indecieve... *rollls her eyes again*
Monday, September 27, 2004
a couple of quiz results... juz to amuse me... Bryan is such a bastard
Your anime hair color is green.
What is your anime hair color?
brought to you by Quizilla
Hair Colour
You should have red eyes. You are.. well.. intent
on enslaving the human race and dominating the
world. You take pleasure in killing people and
small animals, especially the cute and cuddly
variety. Just.. um.. try to calm down.
What Color Eyes Should You Have? ( With Anime Pictures ^-^ )
brought to you by Quizilla
Eye Colour
You have Black Wings! Your feathers are dark, raven
black, which can also be spiny and scaly. No
one really knows why your feathers are this
dark, because you always conceal yourself with
a bubble. A great sadness surrounds you, and
you take it out on others and the world. In
Spite of your beauty, your inside is twisted
and dead, because you were hurt so badly that
youre heart couldnt take it. Before, your wings
were white, and slowly, when your life was
changing, so was the color. You have no
friends, because you cant let anyone get too
close to you. Grief fills your heart, though
anger blinds your eyes.
What Color are your wings?(Mainly for Girls)Beautiful Pix!
brought to you by Quizilla
WINGS!!!! I WISHED I HAD WINGS!
You're a Vampire. Vampires were the creatures of
the night that were believed to live off of
human blood. Count Dracula, being the most
famous vampire, set the stereotype. They had
dark hair and pale skin from being away from
the sunlight. If they actually existed, it's
very possible they had the skin disease that
made you allergic to the sun so whenever the
sunlight would hit it, it would hurt like
crazy. They were usually snobbish and control
freaks and kept werewolves as pets. (If you
cannot see the picture, go to my userpage and
look near the bottom. There should be the
picture and description for all the results)
What Mystical Creature Are You? (Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla
What Mystical Creature Are You?
You have a Lost Soul. No one is really sure what
that can always mean, because it can be defined
in many ways. As Legend goes, lost souls were
the spirits of passed away people who are
neither in heaven nor hell. They walk the
earth, brooding mysteriously, always appearing
when you expect it least. So hence, if you have
a Lost Soul, then you are probably very
insecure and shy. Stuck in your own little box,
you watch the world fly by as a loner. You dont
know your place. You seemingly dont have a
place in society or an interest. You are a very
capricious person, and are confused and
frustrated about where you belong. You crave
for the sense and feeling of home-but have not
obtained it yet.
What Kind of SOUL do you posses? (For Girls only) Incredible Anime Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla
What Kind of SOUL do you posses?
Your an ice dragon! Congrats! Out of all the
dragons, you are most powerful but do not like
to show it. A rare and special creture, you
have artistic style and are great at expressing
yourself. You think friends and Familly are the
most important, and are a hopeless romantic.
But of course, as ice goes, you can be a little
cold or harsh at times. But not to worry, you
always apoligize later!
What elemental dragon are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
My Dragon Rox!
Your half- angel. Not exactly human, but not quite
angel, you walk on earth freely. Half-Angels
have no wings, but tend to show some signs.
Some ways to notice these are that the girl
never menstrates, she cannot bleed, and her
touch seems to give of a glow. No one really
knows how half-angels are born. Some say that
when a child is born, one of the angels blesses
her with her gifts. Others say that they are
cursed creatures, because half-angels cannot
die, while their familly and friends around
them do. Hlaf-Angels are very beautiful and
Kind, and have the power to speak to animals,
but at the same time, sad that they are this
way. Some Half-Angels love being human. Being
able to see, smell, hear, taste,and feel are
all miracles to them. They crave to be more
human-all the time.
What Kind of ANGEL are you? (For Girls only) This Quiz has amazingly Beautiful Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla
Wat Kinda Angel I am
You are the Aqua Marine Mermaid. You are pure and
brave. Strong and True. Your best freind is
your seahorse, your steed. You have fought many
battles in your own life and in the sea. No
matter what challenge you overcome it.
Congratulations there are very few of you.
Would you rate my quiz for I am brave too?
What kind of mermaid are you? (Gorgeous Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
Mermaid i am?
You are Xuan Wu!
Mythological background: Because the turtle has a
thick, solid shell that serves as protection -
this animal is associated with stability. You
enjoy intellectual pursuits.
Also, in Feng Shui (the Chinese myths behind
choosing a house), the black turtle's solidity
is used to protect from cold northern winds.
Which Chinese Mythological Being Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Which Chinese Mythological Being Are You?
The vampire is entranced by you and he just met
you! Now thats power! Keep it up!(I'm running
low on pictures of vampires, dark angels and
angels... if you ahve any could you please give
'em to me? Much apperciated!)
Would a light angel, vampire or dark angel fall for you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Would a light angel, vampire or dark angel fall for you?
You are Form 6, Elfin: The Wyld.
"And The Elfin saw the evil and
misjudgement in the world and shot her arrow at
the sky. Bolts of lightning struck the earth
and gave the world balance and
growth."
Some examples of the Elfin Form are Demeter (Greek)
and Khepry (Egyptian).
The Elfin is associated with the concept of growth
and balance, the number 6, and the element of
water.
Her sign is the half moon.
As a member of Form 6, you are a very balanced
individual. You can easily adapt to most
situations and you may be a good social
chameleon. You aren't afraid of changes in
your life, but sometimes you evolve too
rapidly, leaving others to think that you are
leaving them behind. Elfin are the best
friends to have because they are open minded.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Which Mythological Form Are You?
Your anime hair color is green.
What is your anime hair color?
brought to you by Quizilla
Hair Colour
You should have red eyes. You are.. well.. intent
on enslaving the human race and dominating the
world. You take pleasure in killing people and
small animals, especially the cute and cuddly
variety. Just.. um.. try to calm down.
What Color Eyes Should You Have? ( With Anime Pictures ^-^ )
brought to you by Quizilla
Eye Colour
You have Black Wings! Your feathers are dark, raven
black, which can also be spiny and scaly. No
one really knows why your feathers are this
dark, because you always conceal yourself with
a bubble. A great sadness surrounds you, and
you take it out on others and the world. In
Spite of your beauty, your inside is twisted
and dead, because you were hurt so badly that
youre heart couldnt take it. Before, your wings
were white, and slowly, when your life was
changing, so was the color. You have no
friends, because you cant let anyone get too
close to you. Grief fills your heart, though
anger blinds your eyes.
What Color are your wings?(Mainly for Girls)Beautiful Pix!
brought to you by Quizilla
WINGS!!!! I WISHED I HAD WINGS!
You're a Vampire. Vampires were the creatures of
the night that were believed to live off of
human blood. Count Dracula, being the most
famous vampire, set the stereotype. They had
dark hair and pale skin from being away from
the sunlight. If they actually existed, it's
very possible they had the skin disease that
made you allergic to the sun so whenever the
sunlight would hit it, it would hurt like
crazy. They were usually snobbish and control
freaks and kept werewolves as pets. (If you
cannot see the picture, go to my userpage and
look near the bottom. There should be the
picture and description for all the results)
What Mystical Creature Are You? (Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla
What Mystical Creature Are You?
You have a Lost Soul. No one is really sure what
that can always mean, because it can be defined
in many ways. As Legend goes, lost souls were
the spirits of passed away people who are
neither in heaven nor hell. They walk the
earth, brooding mysteriously, always appearing
when you expect it least. So hence, if you have
a Lost Soul, then you are probably very
insecure and shy. Stuck in your own little box,
you watch the world fly by as a loner. You dont
know your place. You seemingly dont have a
place in society or an interest. You are a very
capricious person, and are confused and
frustrated about where you belong. You crave
for the sense and feeling of home-but have not
obtained it yet.
What Kind of SOUL do you posses? (For Girls only) Incredible Anime Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla
What Kind of SOUL do you posses?
Your an ice dragon! Congrats! Out of all the
dragons, you are most powerful but do not like
to show it. A rare and special creture, you
have artistic style and are great at expressing
yourself. You think friends and Familly are the
most important, and are a hopeless romantic.
But of course, as ice goes, you can be a little
cold or harsh at times. But not to worry, you
always apoligize later!
What elemental dragon are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
My Dragon Rox!
Your half- angel. Not exactly human, but not quite
angel, you walk on earth freely. Half-Angels
have no wings, but tend to show some signs.
Some ways to notice these are that the girl
never menstrates, she cannot bleed, and her
touch seems to give of a glow. No one really
knows how half-angels are born. Some say that
when a child is born, one of the angels blesses
her with her gifts. Others say that they are
cursed creatures, because half-angels cannot
die, while their familly and friends around
them do. Hlaf-Angels are very beautiful and
Kind, and have the power to speak to animals,
but at the same time, sad that they are this
way. Some Half-Angels love being human. Being
able to see, smell, hear, taste,and feel are
all miracles to them. They crave to be more
human-all the time.
What Kind of ANGEL are you? (For Girls only) This Quiz has amazingly Beautiful Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla
Wat Kinda Angel I am
You are the Aqua Marine Mermaid. You are pure and
brave. Strong and True. Your best freind is
your seahorse, your steed. You have fought many
battles in your own life and in the sea. No
matter what challenge you overcome it.
Congratulations there are very few of you.
Would you rate my quiz for I am brave too?
What kind of mermaid are you? (Gorgeous Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
Mermaid i am?
You are Xuan Wu!
Mythological background: Because the turtle has a
thick, solid shell that serves as protection -
this animal is associated with stability. You
enjoy intellectual pursuits.
Also, in Feng Shui (the Chinese myths behind
choosing a house), the black turtle's solidity
is used to protect from cold northern winds.
Which Chinese Mythological Being Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Which Chinese Mythological Being Are You?
The vampire is entranced by you and he just met
you! Now thats power! Keep it up!(I'm running
low on pictures of vampires, dark angels and
angels... if you ahve any could you please give
'em to me? Much apperciated!)
Would a light angel, vampire or dark angel fall for you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Would a light angel, vampire or dark angel fall for you?
You are Form 6, Elfin: The Wyld.
"And The Elfin saw the evil and
misjudgement in the world and shot her arrow at
the sky. Bolts of lightning struck the earth
and gave the world balance and
growth."
Some examples of the Elfin Form are Demeter (Greek)
and Khepry (Egyptian).
The Elfin is associated with the concept of growth
and balance, the number 6, and the element of
water.
Her sign is the half moon.
As a member of Form 6, you are a very balanced
individual. You can easily adapt to most
situations and you may be a good social
chameleon. You aren't afraid of changes in
your life, but sometimes you evolve too
rapidly, leaving others to think that you are
leaving them behind. Elfin are the best
friends to have because they are open minded.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Which Mythological Form Are You?
Bryan didn't even border... all he did was to sms me, telling me if i still love him i would call him back asap if not he would forget about the relationship... but my phone was off... so a another sms which was timed 4 mins after the 1st one... said that he would take it as a no and that everythign is over.. he wished me lal the best and good bye. *sigh* wat pride... his pride seriously hurt me... he makes very thing seem like my fault when i'm the one suffering here...
i can't cry i can't do nuts... but i juz feel sad.. why did i love a perosn like this? a person that is so hard hearted, so egoistic, so loveless...he doesn't care for my heart and he doesn't know how much i love him... he juz hurts me and enjoys it... i bet he was having a great time with shwan or who ever.... and the comign 2 weeks i bet he is gonna be so happy he got me out of his life... i pary hard my next guy wouldn't be like tat... i seriously dun wan to love sumoen like tat anymore...
The funnie thing is i still love bryan so much that i keep wanting to call him... but its so obvious.. i'm juz gonna hurt myself again... i'm loving sumone who doesn't love me at all... sumone who onli wans to use me and hurt me. *sobz* why did i love a person like this?
You are the most important person in his life. He
would do anything to see you smile. Actually,
he would be the PERFECT boyfriend. Always
getting lost in your eyes, always treating you
like a princes and always saying a joke to make
you laugh your head off while he smiles at your
hysteric laughter. Yup, he is the person you
were destined to fall in love with.
What kind of boyfriend would you have?(with pics and obviously for girls^^)
brought to you by Quizilla
i can't cry i can't do nuts... but i juz feel sad.. why did i love a perosn like this? a person that is so hard hearted, so egoistic, so loveless...he doesn't care for my heart and he doesn't know how much i love him... he juz hurts me and enjoys it... i bet he was having a great time with shwan or who ever.... and the comign 2 weeks i bet he is gonna be so happy he got me out of his life... i pary hard my next guy wouldn't be like tat... i seriously dun wan to love sumoen like tat anymore...
The funnie thing is i still love bryan so much that i keep wanting to call him... but its so obvious.. i'm juz gonna hurt myself again... i'm loving sumone who doesn't love me at all... sumone who onli wans to use me and hurt me. *sobz* why did i love a person like this?
You are the most important person in his life. He
would do anything to see you smile. Actually,
he would be the PERFECT boyfriend. Always
getting lost in your eyes, always treating you
like a princes and always saying a joke to make
you laugh your head off while he smiles at your
hysteric laughter. Yup, he is the person you
were destined to fall in love with.
What kind of boyfriend would you have?(with pics and obviously for girls^^)
brought to you by Quizilla
Sunday, September 26, 2004
Byran has once again.... Broke my heart.... Shawn came up to his place today to look for him. and Byran insisted on meeting him, when he could have choosen NOT to meet him... so i told him i was gonna go home.. he juz said.. okie. i mean like wat the fuck fine~He didn't even border about me when i walked out of him... in the end he told me that he didn't meet shwan... which i will NOT believe......
Anyways.. yea... all in all... we broke up again.... he told me that he gave up in this relationship.. so i hung up and typed him a long long goodbye sms.. telling him that he couldn't give up on anything that he nv put in effort for... and that he could go find that perfect girl that he always wanted... and he as childish enuff to tell me to find ivan... ZZzzZZzzZZ i mean that is so old... get sumthing new!
Yea... then he sms me saying that since i choose to piss him off during ns, and that he is in a fucking low mood and pissed off mood now.. that i dun reply his sms... i was like "GOOD".
So right now... i'm single and annoyed... *growls* guys... why did i even border... i hope he dies
Anyways.. yea... all in all... we broke up again.... he told me that he gave up in this relationship.. so i hung up and typed him a long long goodbye sms.. telling him that he couldn't give up on anything that he nv put in effort for... and that he could go find that perfect girl that he always wanted... and he as childish enuff to tell me to find ivan... ZZzzZZzzZZ i mean that is so old... get sumthing new!
Yea... then he sms me saying that since i choose to piss him off during ns, and that he is in a fucking low mood and pissed off mood now.. that i dun reply his sms... i was like "GOOD".
So right now... i'm single and annoyed... *growls* guys... why did i even border... i hope he dies
Saturday, September 25, 2004
i have to drag my sweet arse to tampines by 11 in the morning... seriously... i'm sick of everythgn about thsi relationship. i'm sick of seeing him.. i'm sick of hearing his voice.. i'm sick of doing everything for this relationship... al he ever does is to clal me name and do NUTS! every special occassion i woudl try to crack my head about wat to do to make it a nice one.. but wat does he do? sit infornt of his com and play his stupid game.. if nto he would be juz talkign to sum of his bad friends... that is so hate...
*sigh* why do i always give in to him... i so need a backbone.. then agian prolly i need a life alone again... i think it would be for the best... i hate this relationship and i deserve better... a lot better... am i really so bad in terms of looks and attidue that no otehr good guy wans me...
I mean its seriously like fuck lor~ i can't believe worst looking girls and girls wif worst attidues then me coudl have such wonderful guys... *sigh* its so UNFAIR!
*sigh* why do i always give in to him... i so need a backbone.. then agian prolly i need a life alone again... i think it would be for the best... i hate this relationship and i deserve better... a lot better... am i really so bad in terms of looks and attidue that no otehr good guy wans me...
I mean its seriously like fuck lor~ i can't believe worst looking girls and girls wif worst attidues then me coudl have such wonderful guys... *sigh* its so UNFAIR!
Thursday, September 23, 2004
No surprise again... be me and bryan r together again... haiz... please god sumone help me... i juz wan to forget everything and juz have a normal life.... why wouldn't he change for me? hy can't he juz love me? *sigh*
Btw got some cute pics of me eating ice cream LOL
Sigh... i think the onli solution to my depression would be... Apple soda.. And ice cream~
Btw got some cute pics of me eating ice cream LOL
Sigh... i think the onli solution to my depression would be... Apple soda.. And ice cream~
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Sigh... its no big surprised but i'm single again... bryan threw me away coz i'm not the perfect girl. i am so sad... LOL but heck... its for the better... he keeps saying that i dun give him enuff... i really wonder wat he has given me. All he does is keep track of were i am and quarrel wif me all the time. he wans me to do more... but wat am i working so hard for? he doesn't love me and he will nv love me. *sobz*
He nv gave me a gift which is frm the heart everythinf that he ever gave was by force... our anniversary present he didn't even border to even give me sumthing small.. he has money but he doesn't even wan to spend it on me... other guys treat their girls to movie, dinner and give them sweet things... but wat do i get? nth... everything is frm my pockets and everything is on my own. i go home alone, i go out alone. and he says he does things for me.
I get so jealous when i see couple on the streets having fun and holding flowers... I'm so envious even when i follow my friends to hunt for that perfect gift for their special sumone... everytime i hunt for a gift for Bryan, crack my head on wat to get him... i know that he wouldn't do the same for me... i thought it would be alrite... but i think i grew tired already. i wan more... i wan sumthing i can remember.... my 1st year anniversary was so horrible like the otehr 2 1st year anniversaries i had... one was in jail... the other didn't even border and bryan... he didn't border either... wat's wif the guys i fall for?
why do i get treated like shit all the time...am i really that fat, ugly and usless that everytime a guy juz treats me like tat? *wallows in self-pity* *sigh* when am i going to get the right guy? i'm 20 and i'm still having these minor relationships that tears me apart... bryan nv loved me... but i have always did... no matter how much i curse and swear at him... i really did love him alot... but he nv had a place for me in his heart.
Why can't i juz give up and forget him? it would make our lives so much happier and easier if he juz forgot each other.
He nv gave me a gift which is frm the heart everythinf that he ever gave was by force... our anniversary present he didn't even border to even give me sumthing small.. he has money but he doesn't even wan to spend it on me... other guys treat their girls to movie, dinner and give them sweet things... but wat do i get? nth... everything is frm my pockets and everything is on my own. i go home alone, i go out alone. and he says he does things for me.
I get so jealous when i see couple on the streets having fun and holding flowers... I'm so envious even when i follow my friends to hunt for that perfect gift for their special sumone... everytime i hunt for a gift for Bryan, crack my head on wat to get him... i know that he wouldn't do the same for me... i thought it would be alrite... but i think i grew tired already. i wan more... i wan sumthing i can remember.... my 1st year anniversary was so horrible like the otehr 2 1st year anniversaries i had... one was in jail... the other didn't even border and bryan... he didn't border either... wat's wif the guys i fall for?
why do i get treated like shit all the time...am i really that fat, ugly and usless that everytime a guy juz treats me like tat? *wallows in self-pity* *sigh* when am i going to get the right guy? i'm 20 and i'm still having these minor relationships that tears me apart... bryan nv loved me... but i have always did... no matter how much i curse and swear at him... i really did love him alot... but he nv had a place for me in his heart.
Why can't i juz give up and forget him? it would make our lives so much happier and easier if he juz forgot each other.
Sunday, September 19, 2004
hmm... Juz got back frm a "Chalet"... LOL had a great time time during those three days... haha
Actually things went quite horribly over the last 3 days. hmm... 1stly it was the loctaion of where the chalet woudl be....
At 1st it was suppsoe to be dwn at sentosa... everyone was so looking forward to a tan and a wonderful bbq night... but sadly on friday itself it was cancelled... wat woudl u expect frm sumthing free right? yea.. so they told us they woudl replace it by giving us a chalet dwn at changi Aloha... bt as it truned out it was a fake to there was onli one night avaliable and we even had to pay 130 buck for it... so everyhtign went really bad...
So jhun said why nto let juz have it outside my house... okie.. fine... so he went to his house.. not mor ethen 30min in to bbq-ing... *sigh* we had to stop... coz there was wind and everything, everywhere was trunnign to smoky.. BTW it was the top floor of the HDB... *sigh* so for last min plans we had changed it to Ivan's...
I should had ben smacked on the head for not havign that idea in my head... then again.. it was floating sumwhere there, but well...we had a little quarrel. so asking him for a favour wouldn't well... nice~
So yea... during the BBQ everything between me and ivan is okie now... we had our bbq and we had fun.. or rather i had fun~ LOL
Oh Oh i almost forgot.... we celebrated munsang's bday too... LOL he was so happy~ hammie, danand the rest bought him a cake... a coffee cake~ LOL he was so happy!cute boy~ ^^ hehe
hehe okei now for my part~ my HAPPY part~ everyone know's i'm an alcoholic, but i can't hodl my liquior well, keke. So, anyway, Jac brought a BIG bottle of vodka~ since at that time i was having a horrible mood, drinking would be the onli way i was actually gonna enjoy myself... LOL *my period came too(PMS)* LOL so yea... for teh whoel night juz the both of us, we finished 1/2 the bottle wif lime juice and sugar, and i was a total joke! LOL i fell twice.. one dwn 3 steps coz my feet were wet... Damn did my sweet arse hurt for that... another was when i was playing majong, i was luffing at sumthing so hard... i couldn't keep my balance on the chair! LOL everything went tumbling dwn wif me.. hahhaha....
Haha... okie so i knocked out cold that night... woke up at 11 the next day... took a bath and went straight to Bryan's place in cabby...
That night... Bryan pissed me off really bad. coz at 1st he said he woudl treat me to a movie... but in teh end when i told him i had 10 bucks, which was for my dinner, he asked me to pay for the tickets myself... i was so pissed he couldn't even keep to his word... and he told me i hadn't been doing anythign for him anyway... i mean like wat the fuck.. i did more things then he had ever done for me! i threw the money which was suppose to be for the movie in his face and left the house for a walk...
i returned to his place after 45min and asked his cousin, who was going to the movies wif us too, how many tickets did he buy.... i was so surprised that he even bought my share of the tickets... so i slacked around the house till it was time to go for the movies...
At the snack counter, bryan and his cousin wante to get sum drinks and stuff for the movies... so i waited wif fion... bryan's cousin's girl... hmm... i was kinda surprised that he bought nachos... *drools* i love nachos... but at that time we were still havign our cold war.. so i didn't border to help him carry his big cup of coke and nachos~~ *drools* LOL 30min into the to movie... he offered me the chips... but my pride wouldn't let me eat then.. so i told him i wasn't feeling well.. 10min more... he passed me the whole thing telling me he coudln't finish it... there was like 1/2 left... so greedy me took the box and started eating..LOl after that we shared the chips and drinks... and came out like nth happened...
the next day wasn't too bad.. everythign seem normal... and the most surprising thing was that he bought me ciggies when i asked him to. Actually at 1st he say he not enuff... so i said nvm... but after he changed his mind and bought me a pack... LOL. i was so surprised~
Anyways... yea... i'm back home now... happily typing on my com... the onli sad thing was bryan didn't call me back when he said he would... but then... its okie i guess... *shrugs* LOL
Actually things went quite horribly over the last 3 days. hmm... 1stly it was the loctaion of where the chalet woudl be....
At 1st it was suppsoe to be dwn at sentosa... everyone was so looking forward to a tan and a wonderful bbq night... but sadly on friday itself it was cancelled... wat woudl u expect frm sumthing free right? yea.. so they told us they woudl replace it by giving us a chalet dwn at changi Aloha... bt as it truned out it was a fake to there was onli one night avaliable and we even had to pay 130 buck for it... so everyhtign went really bad...
So jhun said why nto let juz have it outside my house... okie.. fine... so he went to his house.. not mor ethen 30min in to bbq-ing... *sigh* we had to stop... coz there was wind and everything, everywhere was trunnign to smoky.. BTW it was the top floor of the HDB... *sigh* so for last min plans we had changed it to Ivan's...
I should had ben smacked on the head for not havign that idea in my head... then again.. it was floating sumwhere there, but well...we had a little quarrel. so asking him for a favour wouldn't well... nice~
So yea... during the BBQ everything between me and ivan is okie now... we had our bbq and we had fun.. or rather i had fun~ LOL
Oh Oh i almost forgot.... we celebrated munsang's bday too... LOL he was so happy~ hammie, danand the rest bought him a cake... a coffee cake~ LOL he was so happy!cute boy~ ^^ hehe
hehe okei now for my part~ my HAPPY part~ everyone know's i'm an alcoholic, but i can't hodl my liquior well, keke. So, anyway, Jac brought a BIG bottle of vodka~ since at that time i was having a horrible mood, drinking would be the onli way i was actually gonna enjoy myself... LOL *my period came too(PMS)* LOL so yea... for teh whoel night juz the both of us, we finished 1/2 the bottle wif lime juice and sugar, and i was a total joke! LOL i fell twice.. one dwn 3 steps coz my feet were wet... Damn did my sweet arse hurt for that... another was when i was playing majong, i was luffing at sumthing so hard... i couldn't keep my balance on the chair! LOL everything went tumbling dwn wif me.. hahhaha....
Haha... okie so i knocked out cold that night... woke up at 11 the next day... took a bath and went straight to Bryan's place in cabby...
That night... Bryan pissed me off really bad. coz at 1st he said he woudl treat me to a movie... but in teh end when i told him i had 10 bucks, which was for my dinner, he asked me to pay for the tickets myself... i was so pissed he couldn't even keep to his word... and he told me i hadn't been doing anythign for him anyway... i mean like wat the fuck.. i did more things then he had ever done for me! i threw the money which was suppose to be for the movie in his face and left the house for a walk...
i returned to his place after 45min and asked his cousin, who was going to the movies wif us too, how many tickets did he buy.... i was so surprised that he even bought my share of the tickets... so i slacked around the house till it was time to go for the movies...
At the snack counter, bryan and his cousin wante to get sum drinks and stuff for the movies... so i waited wif fion... bryan's cousin's girl... hmm... i was kinda surprised that he bought nachos... *drools* i love nachos... but at that time we were still havign our cold war.. so i didn't border to help him carry his big cup of coke and nachos~~ *drools* LOL 30min into the to movie... he offered me the chips... but my pride wouldn't let me eat then.. so i told him i wasn't feeling well.. 10min more... he passed me the whole thing telling me he coudln't finish it... there was like 1/2 left... so greedy me took the box and started eating..LOl after that we shared the chips and drinks... and came out like nth happened...
the next day wasn't too bad.. everythign seem normal... and the most surprising thing was that he bought me ciggies when i asked him to. Actually at 1st he say he not enuff... so i said nvm... but after he changed his mind and bought me a pack... LOL. i was so surprised~
Anyways... yea... i'm back home now... happily typing on my com... the onli sad thing was bryan didn't call me back when he said he would... but then... its okie i guess... *shrugs* LOL
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Lets see... one would be Bryan and the other would be Ivan...
Bryan... i'm guessing that he wouldn't be going for the bbq as he had promised... and guess wat he is not paying for me coz he say he no cash... pay haven't come in... so wat is new?
The other would be Ivan.. And to think that we were best friends! WERE!! Just becoz his girl doesn't wan to stay atthe chalet doesn't mean he can't... and juz becoz of that stupid little problem he had, he is sticking to her like super glue. He changed so much it disgusts me.
A couple months back, he was telling me how much he wans to give up on his girl coz she doesn't do anythign for him... he whines day and night about the quabbles and quarrels they had, that he is mentally and physically tired of her... his words r fully contridicting!
Now he can't even make time for his friends! as bad as my relationship is i still do make an effort to keep certain friends and obviously i wasted a whole lot of effort on this one. To think i could quarrel wif Bryan over Ivan so many times!
Even a simple answer of a yes or a no he also dun wan to reply... seriously FUCKED UP!
Guys! Haha! they r a mistake to this world! all of them r liars and bastards!
Bryan... i'm guessing that he wouldn't be going for the bbq as he had promised... and guess wat he is not paying for me coz he say he no cash... pay haven't come in... so wat is new?
The other would be Ivan.. And to think that we were best friends! WERE!! Just becoz his girl doesn't wan to stay atthe chalet doesn't mean he can't... and juz becoz of that stupid little problem he had, he is sticking to her like super glue. He changed so much it disgusts me.
A couple months back, he was telling me how much he wans to give up on his girl coz she doesn't do anythign for him... he whines day and night about the quabbles and quarrels they had, that he is mentally and physically tired of her... his words r fully contridicting!
Now he can't even make time for his friends! as bad as my relationship is i still do make an effort to keep certain friends and obviously i wasted a whole lot of effort on this one. To think i could quarrel wif Bryan over Ivan so many times!
Even a simple answer of a yes or a no he also dun wan to reply... seriously FUCKED UP!
Guys! Haha! they r a mistake to this world! all of them r liars and bastards!
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Haha... as everyone expected Bryan will always be the bastard that he is... and to think i missed him and was happy to see him yesterday... he was a fuckign waste of my time... i should had gone to sentosa yesterday.
I already told him i was getting a job and that i would have to work on some saturdays, when iw as at his camp yesterday. and he said okie.... and today... he comes telling me he woudl think about it and might make me quit my job... i mean like.. wat the fuck right.. i told u everything yesterday u r okie.. now u tell me u wan me not to take the job and if i do he wans me to quit...
He wouldn't make time for me, he won't support me, he wouldn't even think about how bored i am waiting for him everyday. I need the cash to do the thing i wanna do on my 21st bday. He is a bastard!
He controls wat i wan to do and treatens me. He told me since u dun wan then okie lor.. then u can go and do the thing that u wan i dun fuck care already... like wat the fuck sia... so i told him back he can juz tell me straight in the face that if he wan me to fuck off his life. he could had juz said so. cos he desyroys my life by makign me wait for him. he can't support me he can't make time for me, but all he does is force me to make all this happen for him. and that he could go back to his fucking shwan and that he treats me like crap. and guess wat his fucking reply was... "okie". Like... FUCK YOU BRYAN TAN. u r a fucking arsehole and a playboy! You have been a fucking waste of my time and a damn waste of my effort.
oh oh and guess wat... he's not coming to the chalet, when he promised that he would... i already told himin saturday that i wanna stay till sat night.. and he says okie... but today.. he tells me that he thought i agreed to go home wif him on sat morning... FUCK YOU! u told u everything b4 hand and u thought! u can thought that i loved u and that i really miss u... Coz i'm NV gonna miss that arse again! he is a liar, a playboy and an arsehole!
I'm going to so fucking keep this fucking job! he can either make time to come find me, if not he can juz fucking go round fucking girls again. I DUN FUCKING CARE. i'm nto gonna let him control my life! I'M NOT EVEN MARRIED TO HIM. and that's not teh point! HE DOESNT DO ANYTHING TO MAKE ME EVEN THINK HE IS WORTH ANYTHING. HE DIDN"T EVEN GET ME ANYTHING FOR OUR 1ST YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!! INSTEAD HE MADE ME CRY!
I hate you and i hope u die in army!
I already told him i was getting a job and that i would have to work on some saturdays, when iw as at his camp yesterday. and he said okie.... and today... he comes telling me he woudl think about it and might make me quit my job... i mean like.. wat the fuck right.. i told u everything yesterday u r okie.. now u tell me u wan me not to take the job and if i do he wans me to quit...
He wouldn't make time for me, he won't support me, he wouldn't even think about how bored i am waiting for him everyday. I need the cash to do the thing i wanna do on my 21st bday. He is a bastard!
He controls wat i wan to do and treatens me. He told me since u dun wan then okie lor.. then u can go and do the thing that u wan i dun fuck care already... like wat the fuck sia... so i told him back he can juz tell me straight in the face that if he wan me to fuck off his life. he could had juz said so. cos he desyroys my life by makign me wait for him. he can't support me he can't make time for me, but all he does is force me to make all this happen for him. and that he could go back to his fucking shwan and that he treats me like crap. and guess wat his fucking reply was... "okie". Like... FUCK YOU BRYAN TAN. u r a fucking arsehole and a playboy! You have been a fucking waste of my time and a damn waste of my effort.
oh oh and guess wat... he's not coming to the chalet, when he promised that he would... i already told himin saturday that i wanna stay till sat night.. and he says okie... but today.. he tells me that he thought i agreed to go home wif him on sat morning... FUCK YOU! u told u everything b4 hand and u thought! u can thought that i loved u and that i really miss u... Coz i'm NV gonna miss that arse again! he is a liar, a playboy and an arsehole!
I'm going to so fucking keep this fucking job! he can either make time to come find me, if not he can juz fucking go round fucking girls again. I DUN FUCKING CARE. i'm nto gonna let him control my life! I'M NOT EVEN MARRIED TO HIM. and that's not teh point! HE DOESNT DO ANYTHING TO MAKE ME EVEN THINK HE IS WORTH ANYTHING. HE DIDN"T EVEN GET ME ANYTHING FOR OUR 1ST YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!! INSTEAD HE MADE ME CRY!
I hate you and i hope u die in army!
Got to see Bryan today. itsbeen 2 weeks since we last saw each otehr coz he was in camp.he was rather nice today... prolly coz he missed me. LOL. He paid attention to me... he talked to me nicely... he responds to my whines... and sum spoiled brat things that i love to do... he entertains them... LOL so yea today was rather a nice day... can u believe it he even offered to pay of the up coming chalet... my for my share that is.. and by me a pack of ciggies... LOL amazing huh? But welll we wouldn't know it till he really does it... Guys have alot of tendencies... and keeping promises are so..... not one of them...
Over all i had fun today... but the weather really sucked... it was a mistake to put on make up and high heels today.... LOL
Here's Bryan.. LOL he looks funnie... Then again i caught him at the wrong angle
Anyways yea.... i saw this really cute bear at Jade's shop.... My god....
THIS IS SO CUTE
Its so cute and the price is even cuter!!! its 80 freaking bucks! *breaks into cold sweat* I really love it so much... its like empty in the tummie area... so it like meant for hugging. *sigh* prolly might bug bryan to get it for me.. but i doubt it... its too expensive... he's prolly gonna chew my head off if i ever mention the price of it and that i wan it frm him... :x
I am seriously spending too much money....
oh yea.... Yesterday i went back to my old work place, down at holland village... i was wondering if i coudl get a part time bakc there since the management changed and everything. So.. Yea.. i went in... i asked for the manager.... and i told him that i was wondering if there was a vacancy for a part timer there... And i got the shock of my life...
The manager looked at me and said " You just brighten up my day!" i was in total shock i mean its like 8 in the evening.... how bright can his day be... LOL :x (cold joke) LOL
Anyways, he was more then happy to employe me... and told me to call him if he didn't call him... but sum how.. hegave me the wrong card... he gave me the name card of another branch of the resturant... LOL.. hmm... so lucky me, i got a job alreayd but i'll be starting work on the 20th of this month. that's a monday. next monday... LOL so fast...
I juz need teh cash... i wanna buy a pup... and save up money for my tattoo... my 21st bday is comign soon.... i can't wait! erm... wait a min... i dun even wan to be 21... -.-||| *sigh* i feel so old...
So yea... i dunneo why but i miss bryan.... :x *PRAYS* please treat me nice and love me more.... geeze... please dun be a wife beater too... Take care of me always and love me for who i am *PRAYS* :x
Over all i had fun today... but the weather really sucked... it was a mistake to put on make up and high heels today.... LOL
Here's Bryan.. LOL he looks funnie... Then again i caught him at the wrong angle
Anyways yea.... i saw this really cute bear at Jade's shop.... My god....
THIS IS SO CUTE
Its so cute and the price is even cuter!!! its 80 freaking bucks! *breaks into cold sweat* I really love it so much... its like empty in the tummie area... so it like meant for hugging. *sigh* prolly might bug bryan to get it for me.. but i doubt it... its too expensive... he's prolly gonna chew my head off if i ever mention the price of it and that i wan it frm him... :x
I am seriously spending too much money....
oh yea.... Yesterday i went back to my old work place, down at holland village... i was wondering if i coudl get a part time bakc there since the management changed and everything. So.. Yea.. i went in... i asked for the manager.... and i told him that i was wondering if there was a vacancy for a part timer there... And i got the shock of my life...
The manager looked at me and said " You just brighten up my day!" i was in total shock i mean its like 8 in the evening.... how bright can his day be... LOL :x (cold joke) LOL
Anyways, he was more then happy to employe me... and told me to call him if he didn't call him... but sum how.. hegave me the wrong card... he gave me the name card of another branch of the resturant... LOL.. hmm... so lucky me, i got a job alreayd but i'll be starting work on the 20th of this month. that's a monday. next monday... LOL so fast...
I juz need teh cash... i wanna buy a pup... and save up money for my tattoo... my 21st bday is comign soon.... i can't wait! erm... wait a min... i dun even wan to be 21... -.-||| *sigh* i feel so old...
So yea... i dunneo why but i miss bryan.... :x *PRAYS* please treat me nice and love me more.... geeze... please dun be a wife beater too... Take care of me always and love me for who i am *PRAYS* :x
Monday, September 06, 2004
my friend said that i was like a little girl... i get excited over every new present i get~ LOL but i can't believe it... daddie bought me a new web cam!!! i am so happy... playing wif it and all!! hehehe
Here's a couple of pictures i took, in my new lingerie, Wif the web cam~
Nice huh? the resolution is really good... *still excited*
Hm... anyways yea... as freakish as this might sound i'm starting to miss Bryan. LOL. Prolly its becoz he is really nice to me these few days. calling me and telling all those i miss u crap. HAHA i'm such a sucker...
Tmr will be the start of my common test.. and i have yet to actually know anything about it. LOL i am so dead!!! i dun even think a world full of luck would help me pass.. anywya time to sleep now... juz had my supper~i'm growing fat~LOL
Here's a couple of pictures i took, in my new lingerie, Wif the web cam~
Nice huh? the resolution is really good... *still excited*
Hm... anyways yea... as freakish as this might sound i'm starting to miss Bryan. LOL. Prolly its becoz he is really nice to me these few days. calling me and telling all those i miss u crap. HAHA i'm such a sucker...
Tmr will be the start of my common test.. and i have yet to actually know anything about it. LOL i am so dead!!! i dun even think a world full of luck would help me pass.. anywya time to sleep now... juz had my supper~i'm growing fat~LOL
Saturday, September 04, 2004
I am so happy!! my daddie bought a new Mp3player.. it was suppose to be his... but i wanted it os much he gave it to me.. hehehe. I'm such a brat...
Hmm.. anyway i have a little probelm now... Bryan's in army and he is booking out on the 17th... Which is also the day where by i am havign the class chalet... *sobz* andhe wans me to stay wif him on saturday night~ :~~ i wanna stay at the chalet still sunday~ so its liek i dunno wat to tell him...
Its not that i dun wanna stay wif him.. but its juz tat... i'm scared thing might go bad again... and more over... its like the last chalet that we might be having since this is our last year together... *sigh* I wanna have fun~ i wan to remember everything that is class has already given me... even thou we r gonna go or seperate ways soon... they really r the sweetest pple i have known.*sigh* wat am i to do...
Bryan has been nice since he went ot army... he has been calling me and telling me he misses me... and that he can't wait till Sat to see everyone coz its parent visit day. Hope nth goes wrong that day... i dunno why but everytime i'm wif bryan or i think about bryan i juz freak out. prolly its coz of all the bad things that has already happened...
Anyways yea.. i need to think of sumthing soon to please both parties and myself... *sigh*
Hmm.. anyway i have a little probelm now... Bryan's in army and he is booking out on the 17th... Which is also the day where by i am havign the class chalet... *sobz* andhe wans me to stay wif him on saturday night~ :~~ i wanna stay at the chalet still sunday~ so its liek i dunno wat to tell him...
Its not that i dun wanna stay wif him.. but its juz tat... i'm scared thing might go bad again... and more over... its like the last chalet that we might be having since this is our last year together... *sigh* I wanna have fun~ i wan to remember everything that is class has already given me... even thou we r gonna go or seperate ways soon... they really r the sweetest pple i have known.*sigh* wat am i to do...
Bryan has been nice since he went ot army... he has been calling me and telling me he misses me... and that he can't wait till Sat to see everyone coz its parent visit day. Hope nth goes wrong that day... i dunno why but everytime i'm wif bryan or i think about bryan i juz freak out. prolly its coz of all the bad things that has already happened...
Anyways yea.. i need to think of sumthing soon to please both parties and myself... *sigh*
Friday, September 03, 2004
Hmm... Guess wat my exams'in 3 days and i have yet to actually absorb anything.. *sobz* i think i'm juz plain restless frm lack of attention again... Bryan onli calls me for like less then 5 min... tells me a few thingstat happened todya and had to go... *sigh* he said sumthing abotu handing his phone over... Why why!!! do i even wait for him! he doesn't seem to really care about me anyway..
Well... tmr i'll be meeting Jac for study at orchard libary tmr... hopefully ic an can get sumthign into that thick skull of mine.... i feel so lost thsi sem.. everyone is gone and there is no one to actually push me to study... *sigh* so lonely...*Yawnz*
I think there is sumthign wrong wif my body too.. been having pains in my body recently.. internal pains... hopefully its nth too bad... andyway.. i'm tired and i have lost my mood to blog anymore for today... Nights
Well... tmr i'll be meeting Jac for study at orchard libary tmr... hopefully ic an can get sumthign into that thick skull of mine.... i feel so lost thsi sem.. everyone is gone and there is no one to actually push me to study... *sigh* so lonely...*Yawnz*
I think there is sumthign wrong wif my body too.. been having pains in my body recently.. internal pains... hopefully its nth too bad... andyway.. i'm tired and i have lost my mood to blog anymore for today... Nights
Thursday, September 02, 2004
MY 1st yera anniversary relly sucked... its was sumthing so like everyday. wat was worst obviously bryan was still keepingin contact with that bastard shawn... i mean so at if he has problem and frm my experience of hearing his problems its all minor things and things tat is his fault. so he deserved everything that is coming to him... i dun understand why Byrna actaully has to care for him, if he really doesn't care or wan to contact him any more... it was a real piss off... -.-||| i hate shawn he spoils my day every time.. and one day i'll leave bryan becoz of him again.. since he wans him to much he can keep him... i'll find someone else.. *humpf*
Anyways yea... as i said b4... Byran didn't get anything... and i know that he won't get me anything. even thou he promised that when he came out he would get me a cake and a pesent for our anniversary... Sigh... i'm such a... push-over... But anyways... we didn't quarrel over it. instead i cried and he was coaxing me... and i told him it was a horrible 1st year anniversary. so yea.. at least he coaxed me.. btu still its nto gonnachange the fact that shawn is still important to him... *growls*
Okies... anyway... today (1st Sept 04) is my anniversary and the day that Bryan books in to army. had a bit of a mix up during orientation today, and we lost Bryan. I dunno to be sad or happy today.. i mean its like he didn't really care for me but he did become sweeter over the last few days when i'm wif him. but still its not enuff. i have a feeling he is keeping stuff for me.. and i'm it hink goign to army would be a start of a new nightmare for me... i think he is gonna keep alot of things frm me and the pple he mixes wif r gonna scare me. army spoils a boy. *sigh* i have so many worries... i wonder if he even feels sad that he is not gonna see me for the next 1.5 weeks. he didn't so much as hold my hand today... and i was expecting to get a kiss b4 we left... *sigh* so sad... Anyways... no big deal if he is not gonna miss me, then forget it.. i can get by 3 weeks wif out him calling me or even meeting i dun see why 1.5 weeks would be difficult for me... *pfft* Guys.... *humpf* they r all the same...
At least in teh night he did try to call me to talk to me... but it was onlif or a short while, becoz it was not convient... i think he called shawn too.. *growls* shawn... its always shawn... one day.. i tell u one day.... i'm gonna leav him becoz of that bloody bastard... *growls* anyways now i'm juz dead worried for the pple he is mixing wif and if he is gonna be okie inside... lol i missed him when i was even on the mrt back... i wonder if he even misses me...~*sobz* i'm such a push over...... i hope he loves me as much i really do love him.. then again... my friends sya i put TOO MUCH hope into this relationship... i'm not surprised if he lets me dwn again sum time soonish....
Anyways yea... as i said b4... Byran didn't get anything... and i know that he won't get me anything. even thou he promised that when he came out he would get me a cake and a pesent for our anniversary... Sigh... i'm such a... push-over... But anyways... we didn't quarrel over it. instead i cried and he was coaxing me... and i told him it was a horrible 1st year anniversary. so yea.. at least he coaxed me.. btu still its nto gonnachange the fact that shawn is still important to him... *growls*
Okies... anyway... today (1st Sept 04) is my anniversary and the day that Bryan books in to army. had a bit of a mix up during orientation today, and we lost Bryan. I dunno to be sad or happy today.. i mean its like he didn't really care for me but he did become sweeter over the last few days when i'm wif him. but still its not enuff. i have a feeling he is keeping stuff for me.. and i'm it hink goign to army would be a start of a new nightmare for me... i think he is gonna keep alot of things frm me and the pple he mixes wif r gonna scare me. army spoils a boy. *sigh* i have so many worries... i wonder if he even feels sad that he is not gonna see me for the next 1.5 weeks. he didn't so much as hold my hand today... and i was expecting to get a kiss b4 we left... *sigh* so sad... Anyways... no big deal if he is not gonna miss me, then forget it.. i can get by 3 weeks wif out him calling me or even meeting i dun see why 1.5 weeks would be difficult for me... *pfft* Guys.... *humpf* they r all the same...
At least in teh night he did try to call me to talk to me... but it was onlif or a short while, becoz it was not convient... i think he called shawn too.. *growls* shawn... its always shawn... one day.. i tell u one day.... i'm gonna leav him becoz of that bloody bastard... *growls* anyways now i'm juz dead worried for the pple he is mixing wif and if he is gonna be okie inside... lol i missed him when i was even on the mrt back... i wonder if he even misses me...~*sobz* i'm such a push over...... i hope he loves me as much i really do love him.. then again... my friends sya i put TOO MUCH hope into this relationship... i'm not surprised if he lets me dwn again sum time soonish....