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And I really do mean ALOTWishList 2005 1. Backpacking 2. 3. 4. Car Licence 5. Crazy Shopping Spree 6. 7. Bike Licence 8. 9. 10. Makeover 11. Lose 10kg 12. 13. 14. 15. Siberian Husky Pup 16. 17. Clubbing In Malaysia 18. Slack At A Beach Resort 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. *smiles*Archives .:.August 2004.:..:.September 2004.:. .:.October 2004.:. .:.November 2004.:. .:.December 2004.:. .:.January 2005.:. .:.February 2005.:. .:.March 2005.:. .:.April 2005.:. .:.May 2005.:. .:.June 2005.:. .:.July 2005.:. .:.August 2005.:. .:.September 2005.:. .:.November 2005.:. .:.December 2005.:. Friends .:Daryl:. .:DreamBoi:. .:LostBody:. .:Ivan:. .:Jacy:. .:Nad:. .:Princess:. .:Ray:. .:Red:. .:Sheepie:. .:Stacy:. .:Veronica:. .:Vik:. Ideal Guy/Dream Guy 1. Tall [Prolly 1.76m] 2. Good Family Background 3. Sexy body 4. Chinese 5. Drives A Nice Car 6. Rides A Nice Bike 7. Able To Afford Me 8. Owns A Nice Tattoo 9. Smart/Street Wise 10. English Educated 11. Staying Near My Area 12. Parents Agreement [Vic Versa] 13. Kind Hearted 14. Romantic 15. Average Looking 16. Good Career 17. Gives In To Me 18. On My Frequency Of Thinking 19. Able To Click Well 20. Great In Bed
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Sunday, September 25, 2005 i'm so glad... i told matt what happened and he as sorry about it. thank god.. i was encouraged by star to tell him what happened and how i felt. but i have to say.. that day was a bad day for me, my boss gave sum last min work... i was uberly pissed, coz i actually had to rush home and go for tution. *sigh* i have such great luck for crappy bosses. Anyways, this entery is juz a summary of everything that has hapened over the weekend. i'm too lazy to put it all in detail. :x Firday night after i took a nap from all that crap that had happened to me.. i went over to matt's place.. apparently his father got a virus into teh com... tried my best to remove as much as possible thou i suck at it... hehehe but i think i actually made things worst... or rather my anti virus changed a couple of settings in his com. that night we went down for a walk... i todl him abuot how i felt over the last 2 days, that i wasn't angry... i was juz veri upset and disappointed wif his actions. i was so glad he didn't blow up at me. In fact he was sorry about it and he told me he wouldn't dare to do it again... it was good to hear such things... but on whether it was juz sumthing to make me happy or the truth... i'll have to wait and see... But sat was fun... we brougth his bro for dinenr wif us.... Cheese fondue.... Chocolate fondue.... fucking over spent! on that evenign itself we spent about 220 bucks in total for dinenr movies and a little light shopping. Brothers Grimm the movie was okie... the story was interesting... cramping all the fairy tales into one movie... During this movie i felt weird... i felt different towards matt... i felt like i was falling in love again. i was so happy to have him beside me... but the more i think about it the more scared i become... what if everything juz flops down on me again? what if he becomes like the other bastards that i have dated... *sigh* but right at this moment of time... i think he's the best guy i've had in a long time... i thank god for him. Friday, September 23, 2005 I have a feeling crap in my relationship is gonna happen again. 2 nites ago, matt told me he was going to a dirty bar wif his friends. This isn't the 1st time… I have always trusted him not to do anything to hurt me, but this around.. the stories he told me last night juz shattered me. He told me, that his friends juz wanted to have a fun night out and it was a must that he went.. coz his friends' been bugging him. I was waiting for his call that night… he called me at 1140 plus telling me he would be him in 15-20min. so I waited… apparently.. he onli got home an hour and a 1/2 after that.. I woke up in the morning feeling like I've cheated again. 1 and a half hours after going to a dirty bar.. anything could happen. next morning he tried calling me… I was busy and still pissed… called him back after a couple of missed calls… he seemed all normal about it telling me that they had trouble sending his friend, Dickson home. So I for-goed the matter… until last night when I heard everything in detail. Last night, we were having dinner at Tamp(yes.. I went to tamp… the god forsaken ditch). It was then he told me about wat happened in the pub. He told me that juz to please his friends, he had a girl in his arms… he was telling me how he was avoiding her kisses, how she was trying to seduce him, how she kisses his cheeks and when she did he would wash his face… then his story changed abit… he said that they went for supper after sending dickson home… becoz jeffery was hungry. All the while, I tried to smile tried, to luff, tired to make a joke out of everything, but it still hurts. I just didn't know wat to say… I didn't wan my past to repeat it self.. all the lies… all the cheating.. all the fake stories… the quarrel.. the tears… I juz can't take it. So I juz played along… I gave him freedom to do watever he wanted, to go where ever he wanted, but isn't he taking things forgranted? all I did this morning was cry, haha… wat a wussy right? I jus dunno wif I can carry on in this relationship and I dunno why I'm feeling all upset and bitter, this didn't use to be like tat last time… I dun think I'm gonna say anything to him about it… I dun see a point in spoiling people's fun. All the guys I date seem to end up to be the same thing. Prolly I'm really juz not meant to be in any relationship for too long. Prolly I'm juz over reacting, over thinking, and over possessive… but its not right, is it? *Sigh* ain't it fun falling in love. Monday, September 19, 2005 juz another week to go and i'm outta here... my dear star any i was talkign today, about my extending of contract... its a pretty good idea since, durign dec i'll be away for about a week to korea. i dun think any company atthe moment would wanna hire me if i told them i needed to take a break for a bout a week right after starting my job. but staying in PSB would so kill me... its a dead job wif a really low pay. anyways i think i would have to consider really hard about it and talk to my boss again on monday. hopefully the pay would be better. today tution was cancelled again... kinda expected it half-heartedly... the kid's got sum kinda rashes growing all over him... anyways.. my entery today is mainly concering my dear boy... since he's being such a brat today i seriously need to bitch about it for a while.. so the story goes like this... he was suppose to meet me after tution todat for supper, but coincidently the kid's mum called em while i was 1/2 way through my dinner. telling me all her story about her son having rashes and cancelling tution today. So i called my dear boy and old him about it. he was happy.. sure... and wanted ot meet me for dinner... but when i told him i was already 1/2 way through dinner his whole mood changed... -.-||| and he told me to stay home and rest instead. after that he wasn't in the mood to talk to me anymore, even though i still told him its okie and we coudl still meet up, but i was worried about our cash flow, and he juz went straight to sleep. Prolly i'm being a little too sensitive about all this, prolly he's juz tired. but is there really a need to give me this kinda attidute? all i did was worry about his cash.. wat's the point of going out if we have no cash... and when i say no cash i mean not a single cent left. and evevn if we did have cash... i won't mind going wif him for dinner i'll prolly juz get a drink and accompany him while he's eating, the poorthing hasn't eaten the whole day. guys r so hard to understand... i really do love this boy to bits.. but i really wonder how much more of this i can take. Not that he treats me bad or anything... everything that he doesn't is all sweet and wonderful, i truely appreciate it.. but i dun wanna have to see his temper/attidute for sumthing that i didn't do wrong.. i mean how was i to know she would cancel tution so suddenly, i already got my parents to buy dinner for me.. i couldn't possibly juz throw it away... *sigh* that silly boy has gotta control his temper... prolly we r juz both brats who wan things in our away... *Sigh* that silly little brat. Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Monday, September 12, 2005 This week is when i'm gonna be busy all over again. Starting tution for the kid again today and tmr my new term for my 3D class starts. juz another mth and everything's gonna be over~~ i wonder when does PSLE end... can't wait to get the kid out of my hair. i wanna do my own things... like sleep for one~ hehe i'm so glad that this week the crazy girl is back! we dun really talk much while working, but at least there is sumone i can disturb if i get too restless. Matt's been sweet.. as usual... =P we have been on the topic of presents since friday, when i was over at his place... i have already planned and know wat i'm gonna go for him for our anniversary.... 1st year anniversary. As for him he's planning for my xmas present... Sat night, we were at this pool house waiting for his friend to finish playing his pool b4 we could go for a drink dwn at their god-sis's workplace. during that time, matt was bugging me for hints and clues about his anniversary present. hehe no on will ever guess. Hint: (roughly a 6 part present) cost is about 700-1k its can start at any time of the day but i would choose the night nth much to do about food or alcohol hehe... The next day he told me about my present being 3 parts, and gave be a clue that the 2nd present was sumthing to do with needles... i was all shocked and worried about the whole idea... his borther was there and guessed that it woudl be a jab. i was like O.O WTF!! and started crying like mad... one thing about me, anything is good..... tattoos... piercings.... but no Jabs... he said the jab was to take a way the pain, coz the 3rd part of the present was the extension of my tattoo.. :~~~ . he told me that he heard me saying that i wanna extend my tattoo its juz tat i coudln't take the pain and that was wat's stopping me form extending my tattoo... sweet huh? but he scared the shit outta me... BTW.. for a (currently showing) good movie i've watch... "The Longest Yard" its a fucking good show, check it out... For now i'm juz trying to make my blog as long as possible coz i'm damn bored and i wanna try out-blogging my dear Yern, which seems impossible... and i'm waiting for my daddie to pick me up, coz silly me for got to bring my wallet home from matt's place last night... so today i'm currently broke and erm.... broke... Thursday, September 08, 2005 There is sumthing gravely wrong wif me this week. i have lost all mood to work all mood to consentrate. all i wanna do this week is juz to stay at home. i feel so restless. Prolyl its becoz my parents r not in singapore... prolly coz i havebeen going out to really enjoy myself... maybe it might be i miss matt too much... but seriously.. i dunno wat's wrong wif me. Monday, September 05, 2005 ~~Juz for your viewing pleasure Or rather i'm Soooo Vain~~~ ~~~ And you this this song is about you ~~~ ~~~~ Don't you ~~~~ This dear boy of my juz can't keep he's eyes on the cam.. -.-||| --Stoned-- --Devil-- --Cat-- --Vain-- Crap... Bloody building went on a strike... *growls* and i'd juz typed 4 bloody paragraphs into this entry and the building decided to go on strike. -.-||| thank god i'm not doing graphs.. else i'm going on a killing spreee! Anyways... as i was saying... my life is pretty much the same everyday now due to work... not saying that my bosses and friends here r bad... infact i luff like mad everyday wif the temp girl here, and even thou my bosses pile work on me like i'm shelf waiting to be shacked upon. its fine~ hehe the funniest thing is still the one about my boss telling one of my colleges that he might wanna extend my contract... i almost died luffing.... unless he can pay the rate of 1.5k-1.6k i'll stay.... my god... asking a dip. grad to do admin work at a price of 6/hr... *shakes her head* he really is in sum kinda dreamland... haha During the weekend i was spending my time at matt's place... its was fine i guess.. juz that the weather is so damn fucking hot and his air-con decided to do its waterfall stu... mind u it its waterfall and not dripping. thank god his mum asked us to take the fan from his bro's room... During the night and day, we went for short walks... i couldn't stay in the house for too long... juz got dead restless... Well my relationship matt is going along fine... infact the onli thing that is making me feel bad about this relationship is his temper, and his job... poorthing is workign his arse off juz to pay off his debts... and partly coz of my eating into his pay... we did chat about migrating in the future.. hopefully by then the both of us would have sum kinda qualification to do such a thing and that our relationship does carry on for that long a time. time is still too short to make such decisions. i really hope that he does well in this present job and get to sumwhere wif this profession. Prolly its really selfish of me to say this... but i really dun wanna suffer atthe end of the day when i get married... i wan a comfortable life... its a snobish thing to say... i'm so sorry... its juz tat i grew up wif a silver spoon in my mouth, i dun wanna go a grade lower from wat i have been brought up to be... Sumhow i have a feeling my parents dun mind matt being my boy... that is if eh does make sumthing out of himself. i'm sure this time they wouldn't mind.... i think... i mean juz look.. he's chinese, he's english educated... he loves me to bits... he pampers and spoils me like crazy.... if onli he's got a good career... i'm sure my parents will be fine wif him. i hope i can encourage him to buck up and improve himself. |