ALOT

WishList 2005

1. Backpacking

2. Brazillian Waxing

3. Full Face Waxing

4. Car Licence

5. Crazy Shopping Spree

6. EarringSSssss

7. Bike Licence

8. Taste Weed

9. New Handphone

10. Makeover

11. Lose 10kg

12. New Pair of Jeans

13. SunGlasses

14. A Pair Of Shoes

15. Siberian Husky Pup

16. Ball Python
not wat i was expecting
but juz as cute^^

17. Clubbing In Malaysia

18. Slack At A Beach Resort

19. Get A Good Watch For My Mummie

20. Get A Mont Blanc Pen For Daddie

21. PlayStation 2

22. Another Pair Of Jeans

23. Earphones

*smiles*

Archives

.:.August 2004.:.
.:.September 2004.:.
.:.October 2004.:.
.:.November 2004.:.
.:.December 2004.:.
.:.January 2005.:.
.:.February 2005.:.
.:.March 2005.:.
.:.April 2005.:.
.:.May 2005.:.
.:.June 2005.:.
.:.July 2005.:.
.:.August 2005.:.
.:.September 2005.:.
.:.November 2005.:.
.:.December 2005.:.

Friends

.:Danyael:.
.:Daryl:.
.:DreamBoi:.
.:LostBody:.
.:Ivan:.
.:Jacy:.
.:Nad:.
.:Princess:.
.:Ray:.
.:Red:.
.:Sheepie:.
.:Stacy:.
.:Veronica:.
.:Vik:.

I still haven't gotten over th fact that the bastard i loved is a 2-timing son of a bitch... to the fact that his mum thinks that i'm a girl wif no family manners... yes she is a bitch too for not being able to see wat she bastard of a son did to me. Maybe i'm a little to harsh wif my words.. but wat can i say... like mother like son? LOL.

Today bryan messaged me asking me stupid questions about his com... i should had prolly ignored him again.. but i guess i still have a soft spot for him... its onli been 2 mth since he threw me into the deep pits of hurt and tears... wheni asked him for afavour of returning my pictures.. which was prolly an excuse to see him.. *Rachel u r such a useless arse* he juz shut up... so i juz told him tat i still hate his guts for 2-timing me and that i wish that he and his sluty girl would die...

i'm so filled wif mixed emotions now that i dunno wat am i supose to feel... wat i'm suppose to do... i wanna kill him but yet.. i wan him to hug and cuddle me.. no words needed... i wanna cry.. but yet.. i wanna be happy that this HAD happened to me, a lesson in life has been taught... i wonder how long more i need to heal.. my cuts r all gone... but i can still feel myself bleeding.. this is all so confusing..

If there was sumthing to take this part of my life off my mind.. i would do anything now... too many sweet memories had been stored... even thou they were all fake, all of them felt so right... so sweet... so forever...

Last night i dreamt of that bastard... i dreamt that we got back together and that we hugged.. we did everything together again... but it was juz a dream.. dreams dun come true... if they did.. there would be alot of happy pple in the world.. there would be peace and there would be no tears.

My friends say i'm juz in need of sumone to love me.. prolly.. but if that's the case i would be a veri happy girl wif matt around.. but i'm not... i need sumone... but i dunno wat i'm looking for..

These 2 mths has changed me so much...or rather.. this setback has changed me so much... my temper has grown shorter then ever... i would rather spend my time at work and at home, than going out for a walk... i sleep so much now that i hardly have anytime to do the things i wanna do.. i avoid all the places that i used to love... even my taste in music has changed... i would rather listen to RnB than eurodance and techno... god... can u imagin?!!? Lemon... Listening to RnB~~ its so wrong~

My life may seem pretty boring frm wat i have described... which is not true... i still do enjoy myself.. wif my old friend... new found friends... dragging me to places... telling me jokes and making me luff till my sides hurt... i appreciate everything they have done... i really do.. but its not wat i wan...

2 months... and counting... please heal me...