Profile
And I really do mean
ALOT
WishList 2005
1. Backpacking
2. Brazillian Waxing
3. Full Face Waxing
4. Car Licence
5. Crazy Shopping Spree
6. EarringSSssss
7. Bike Licence
8. Taste Weed
9. New Handphone
10. Makeover
11. Lose 10kg
12. New Pair of Jeans
13. SunGlasses
14. A Pair Of Shoes
15. Siberian Husky Pup
16. Ball Python
not wat i was expecting
but juz as cute^^
17. Clubbing In Malaysia
18. Slack At A Beach Resort
19. Get A Good Watch For My Mummie
20. Get A Mont Blanc Pen For Daddie
21. PlayStation 2
22. Another Pair Of Jeans
23. Earphones
*smiles*
Archives
.:.August 2004.:..:.September 2004.:.
.:.October 2004.:.
.:.November 2004.:.
.:.December 2004.:.
.:.January 2005.:.
.:.February 2005.:.
.:.March 2005.:.
.:.April 2005.:.
.:.May 2005.:.
.:.June 2005.:.
.:.July 2005.:.
.:.August 2005.:.
.:.September 2005.:.
.:.November 2005.:.
.:.December 2005.:.
Friends
.:Daryl:.
.:DreamBoi:.
.:LostBody:.
.:Ivan:.
.:Jacy:.
.:Nad:.
.:Princess:.
.:Ray:.
.:Red:.
.:Sheepie:.
.:Stacy:.
.:Veronica:.
.:Vik:.
Ideal Guy/Dream Guy
1. Tall [Prolly 1.76m]
2. Good Family Background
3. Sexy body
4. Chinese
5. Drives A Nice Car
6. Rides A Nice Bike
7. Able To Afford Me
8. Owns A Nice Tattoo
9. Smart/Street Wise
10. English Educated
11. Staying Near My Area
12. Parents Agreement [Vic Versa]
13. Kind Hearted
14. Romantic
15. Average Looking
16. Good Career
17. Gives In To Me
18. On My Frequency Of Thinking
19. Able To Click Well
20. Great In Bed
Sunday, December 04, 2005
I got uberly pissed wif ade today... seriously we r giving u advice for sumthing that is wrong... so damn fucking wrong in so many levels... but u keep insisting that u r right.. and that we should think that its alrite too...wat crap!
after all that lecturing frm me and shu... and 2 btls of white wine... we decided to call it a day...
"how am i to believe that wif u limping all over the place, shouing at 3am in the morning in a pte neighbourhood, leaving your stuff around and pouring yourself all over the pillar... how do u expect me to trust u to go home.. much less to go dwn to Arab st for your husband... fuck... wat if u get raped... wat if anything happens... yet you still insist and yell uwere okie... spoke to me in a sacarstic tone... for that night... enuff is enuff... i love you but i dun need to put myself such torture if u dun seem interested... dun seem appreciative..."
i left.. leaving her for her husband... a call came and i poured everything to it.. i doubt she understood wat i was crying about.. but we juz know that we can't go on wif out either of us.. shu, ade, cherry, or me.. we juz need each other..
i sat outside crying... not knowing wat to do why is it that everytime i do sumthing for sumone i love so much can me so unappreciated.. in relationships and friendship..
i missed dayz suddenly.. so badly when shu and i were talking.. i was telling her i loved the way he treated me.. and the flowers he gave me.. the small action he does for me and the words he used.. finally after so many bastards... i have the one that loves me for me.. one that will do anything to make me happy... oen who knows my thoughts and actions wifout asking much...
god i wanna cry.. i juz need him wif me.. juz to be wif me...
after all that lecturing frm me and shu... and 2 btls of white wine... we decided to call it a day...
"how am i to believe that wif u limping all over the place, shouing at 3am in the morning in a pte neighbourhood, leaving your stuff around and pouring yourself all over the pillar... how do u expect me to trust u to go home.. much less to go dwn to Arab st for your husband... fuck... wat if u get raped... wat if anything happens... yet you still insist and yell uwere okie... spoke to me in a sacarstic tone... for that night... enuff is enuff... i love you but i dun need to put myself such torture if u dun seem interested... dun seem appreciative..."
i left.. leaving her for her husband... a call came and i poured everything to it.. i doubt she understood wat i was crying about.. but we juz know that we can't go on wif out either of us.. shu, ade, cherry, or me.. we juz need each other..
i sat outside crying... not knowing wat to do why is it that everytime i do sumthing for sumone i love so much can me so unappreciated.. in relationships and friendship..
i missed dayz suddenly.. so badly when shu and i were talking.. i was telling her i loved the way he treated me.. and the flowers he gave me.. the small action he does for me and the words he used.. finally after so many bastards... i have the one that loves me for me.. one that will do anything to make me happy... oen who knows my thoughts and actions wifout asking much...
god i wanna cry.. i juz need him wif me.. juz to be wif me...
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
been busy and lazy recently... 1st entry of 2mths.. hehe. last weekend i was on course.. it was a rather interesting course. sumthign about engery and positive thinking, not to mention pyschic power hehe and my friends in secondary skool call me a witch.
Anyways the name of this course is The Silva Method. i would really recommend friends to this course, especially those wif temper problems like myself. after being in this course i feel better and more positive to things.
last night when i, that silva would call it "leveling", i saw a couple of things. i saw myself carrying matt's child, saw us rising the child. but after that everything was blank. i was afraid that sumthing bad might have happened to us along the way. *shrugs* its still too early to say.
anyways all these r images of the mind, it will change for the better or the worst. depending on how positive u are.
as for my relationship wif matthew. its been great... still get and wonderful. i love eating the maggi that he cooks... all the "liao" he puts in, and all the love he takes to make that bowl of noodles for me. heheh so mushy. Last week was slightly rocky for us, i kept thinking that he was starting to find me annoying, not to mention about the money issues. well the fact was i tired him out too much. hehe i was dragging him up and dwn, every where i went. Poorthing *kisses*.
i have gotta get a proper job again soon... money isn't coming in as it should... and its restricting us to doing alot of things...
god... i love my baby...
Anyways the name of this course is The Silva Method. i would really recommend friends to this course, especially those wif temper problems like myself. after being in this course i feel better and more positive to things.
last night when i, that silva would call it "leveling", i saw a couple of things. i saw myself carrying matt's child, saw us rising the child. but after that everything was blank. i was afraid that sumthing bad might have happened to us along the way. *shrugs* its still too early to say.
anyways all these r images of the mind, it will change for the better or the worst. depending on how positive u are.
as for my relationship wif matthew. its been great... still get and wonderful. i love eating the maggi that he cooks... all the "liao" he puts in, and all the love he takes to make that bowl of noodles for me. heheh so mushy. Last week was slightly rocky for us, i kept thinking that he was starting to find me annoying, not to mention about the money issues. well the fact was i tired him out too much. hehe i was dragging him up and dwn, every where i went. Poorthing *kisses*.
i have gotta get a proper job again soon... money isn't coming in as it should... and its restricting us to doing alot of things...
god... i love my baby...
Sunday, September 25, 2005
i'm so glad... i told matt what happened and he as sorry about it. thank god..
i was encouraged by star to tell him what happened and how i felt. but i have to say.. that day was a bad day for me, my boss gave sum last min work... i was uberly pissed, coz i actually had to rush home and go for tution. *sigh* i have such great luck for crappy bosses.
Anyways, this entery is juz a summary of everything that has hapened over the weekend. i'm too lazy to put it all in detail. :x
Firday night after i took a nap from all that crap that had happened to me.. i went over to matt's place.. apparently his father got a virus into teh com... tried my best to remove as much as possible thou i suck at it... hehehe but i think i actually made things worst... or rather my anti virus changed a couple of settings in his com.
that night we went down for a walk... i todl him abuot how i felt over the last 2 days, that i wasn't angry... i was juz veri upset and disappointed wif his actions. i was so glad he didn't blow up at me. In fact he was sorry about it and he told me he wouldn't dare to do it again... it was good to hear such things... but on whether it was juz sumthing to make me happy or the truth... i'll have to wait and see...
But sat was fun... we brougth his bro for dinenr wif us.... Cheese fondue.... Chocolate fondue.... fucking over spent! on that evenign itself we spent about 220 bucks in total for dinenr movies and a little light shopping. Brothers Grimm the movie was okie... the story was interesting... cramping all the fairy tales into one movie...
During this movie i felt weird... i felt different towards matt... i felt like i was falling in love again. i was so happy to have him beside me... but the more i think about it the more scared i become... what if everything juz flops down on me again? what if he becomes like the other bastards that i have dated... *sigh*
but right at this moment of time... i think he's the best guy i've had in a long time... i thank god for him.
i was encouraged by star to tell him what happened and how i felt. but i have to say.. that day was a bad day for me, my boss gave sum last min work... i was uberly pissed, coz i actually had to rush home and go for tution. *sigh* i have such great luck for crappy bosses.
Anyways, this entery is juz a summary of everything that has hapened over the weekend. i'm too lazy to put it all in detail. :x
Firday night after i took a nap from all that crap that had happened to me.. i went over to matt's place.. apparently his father got a virus into teh com... tried my best to remove as much as possible thou i suck at it... hehehe but i think i actually made things worst... or rather my anti virus changed a couple of settings in his com.
that night we went down for a walk... i todl him abuot how i felt over the last 2 days, that i wasn't angry... i was juz veri upset and disappointed wif his actions. i was so glad he didn't blow up at me. In fact he was sorry about it and he told me he wouldn't dare to do it again... it was good to hear such things... but on whether it was juz sumthing to make me happy or the truth... i'll have to wait and see...
But sat was fun... we brougth his bro for dinenr wif us.... Cheese fondue.... Chocolate fondue.... fucking over spent! on that evenign itself we spent about 220 bucks in total for dinenr movies and a little light shopping. Brothers Grimm the movie was okie... the story was interesting... cramping all the fairy tales into one movie...
During this movie i felt weird... i felt different towards matt... i felt like i was falling in love again. i was so happy to have him beside me... but the more i think about it the more scared i become... what if everything juz flops down on me again? what if he becomes like the other bastards that i have dated... *sigh*
but right at this moment of time... i think he's the best guy i've had in a long time... i thank god for him.
Friday, September 23, 2005
I have a feeling crap in my relationship is gonna happen again.
2 nites ago, matt told me he was going to a dirty bar wif his friends. This isn't the 1st time… I have always trusted him not to do anything to hurt me, but this around.. the stories he told me last night juz shattered me.
He told me, that his friends juz wanted to have a fun night out and it was a must that he went.. coz his friends' been bugging him. I was waiting for his call that night… he called me at 1140 plus telling me he would be him in 15-20min. so I waited… apparently.. he onli got home an hour and a 1/2 after that.. I woke up in the morning feeling like I've cheated again. 1 and a half hours after going to a dirty bar.. anything could happen. next morning he tried calling me… I was busy and still pissed… called him back after a couple of missed calls… he seemed all normal about it telling me that they had trouble sending his friend, Dickson home. So I for-goed the matter… until last night when I heard everything in detail.
Last night, we were having dinner at Tamp(yes.. I went to tamp… the god forsaken ditch). It was then he told me about wat happened in the pub. He told me that juz to please his friends, he had a girl in his arms… he was telling me how he was avoiding her kisses, how she was trying to seduce him, how she kisses his cheeks and when she did he would wash his face… then his story changed abit… he said that they went for supper after sending dickson home… becoz jeffery was hungry. All the while, I tried to smile tried, to luff, tired to make a joke out of everything, but it still hurts. I just didn't know wat to say… I didn't wan my past to repeat it self.. all the lies… all the cheating.. all the fake stories… the quarrel.. the tears… I juz can't take it. So I juz played along…
I gave him freedom to do watever he wanted, to go where ever he wanted, but isn't he taking things forgranted? all I did this morning was cry, haha… wat a wussy right? I jus dunno wif I can carry on in this relationship and I dunno why I'm feeling all upset and bitter, this didn't use to be like tat last time… I dun think I'm gonna say anything to him about it… I dun see a point in spoiling people's fun. All the guys I date seem to end up to be the same thing.
Prolly I'm really juz not meant to be in any relationship for too long.
Prolly I'm juz over reacting, over thinking, and over possessive… but its not right, is it?
*Sigh* ain't it fun falling in love.
2 nites ago, matt told me he was going to a dirty bar wif his friends. This isn't the 1st time… I have always trusted him not to do anything to hurt me, but this around.. the stories he told me last night juz shattered me.
He told me, that his friends juz wanted to have a fun night out and it was a must that he went.. coz his friends' been bugging him. I was waiting for his call that night… he called me at 1140 plus telling me he would be him in 15-20min. so I waited… apparently.. he onli got home an hour and a 1/2 after that.. I woke up in the morning feeling like I've cheated again. 1 and a half hours after going to a dirty bar.. anything could happen. next morning he tried calling me… I was busy and still pissed… called him back after a couple of missed calls… he seemed all normal about it telling me that they had trouble sending his friend, Dickson home. So I for-goed the matter… until last night when I heard everything in detail.
Last night, we were having dinner at Tamp(yes.. I went to tamp… the god forsaken ditch). It was then he told me about wat happened in the pub. He told me that juz to please his friends, he had a girl in his arms… he was telling me how he was avoiding her kisses, how she was trying to seduce him, how she kisses his cheeks and when she did he would wash his face… then his story changed abit… he said that they went for supper after sending dickson home… becoz jeffery was hungry. All the while, I tried to smile tried, to luff, tired to make a joke out of everything, but it still hurts. I just didn't know wat to say… I didn't wan my past to repeat it self.. all the lies… all the cheating.. all the fake stories… the quarrel.. the tears… I juz can't take it. So I juz played along…
I gave him freedom to do watever he wanted, to go where ever he wanted, but isn't he taking things forgranted? all I did this morning was cry, haha… wat a wussy right? I jus dunno wif I can carry on in this relationship and I dunno why I'm feeling all upset and bitter, this didn't use to be like tat last time… I dun think I'm gonna say anything to him about it… I dun see a point in spoiling people's fun. All the guys I date seem to end up to be the same thing.
Prolly I'm really juz not meant to be in any relationship for too long.
Prolly I'm juz over reacting, over thinking, and over possessive… but its not right, is it?
*Sigh* ain't it fun falling in love.
Monday, September 19, 2005
juz another week to go and i'm outta here... my dear star any i was talkign today, about my extending of contract... its a pretty good idea since, durign dec i'll be away for about a week to korea. i dun think any company atthe moment would wanna hire me if i told them i needed to take a break for a bout a week right after starting my job. but staying in PSB would so kill me... its a dead job wif a really low pay. anyways i think i would have to consider really hard about it and talk to my boss again on monday. hopefully the pay would be better.
today tution was cancelled again... kinda expected it half-heartedly... the kid's got sum kinda rashes growing all over him... anyways.. my entery today is mainly concering my dear boy... since he's being such a brat today i seriously need to bitch about it for a while..
so the story goes like this... he was suppose to meet me after tution todat for supper, but coincidently the kid's mum called em while i was 1/2 way through my dinner. telling me all her story about her son having rashes and cancelling tution today. So i called my dear boy and old him about it. he was happy.. sure... and wanted ot meet me for dinner... but when i told him i was already 1/2 way through dinner his whole mood changed... -.-||| and he told me to stay home and rest instead. after that he wasn't in the mood to talk to me anymore, even though i still told him its okie and we coudl still meet up, but i was worried about our cash flow, and he juz went straight to sleep.
Prolly i'm being a little too sensitive about all this, prolly he's juz tired. but is there really a need to give me this kinda attidute? all i did was worry about his cash.. wat's the point of going out if we have no cash... and when i say no cash i mean not a single cent left. and evevn if we did have cash... i won't mind going wif him for dinner i'll prolly juz get a drink and accompany him while he's eating, the poorthing hasn't eaten the whole day.
guys r so hard to understand... i really do love this boy to bits.. but i really wonder how much more of this i can take. Not that he treats me bad or anything... everything that he doesn't is all sweet and wonderful, i truely appreciate it.. but i dun wanna have to see his temper/attidute for sumthing that i didn't do wrong.. i mean how was i to know she would cancel tution so suddenly, i already got my parents to buy dinner for me.. i couldn't possibly juz throw it away... *sigh* that silly boy has gotta control his temper... prolly we r juz both brats who wan things in our away...
*Sigh* that silly little brat.
today tution was cancelled again... kinda expected it half-heartedly... the kid's got sum kinda rashes growing all over him... anyways.. my entery today is mainly concering my dear boy... since he's being such a brat today i seriously need to bitch about it for a while..
so the story goes like this... he was suppose to meet me after tution todat for supper, but coincidently the kid's mum called em while i was 1/2 way through my dinner. telling me all her story about her son having rashes and cancelling tution today. So i called my dear boy and old him about it. he was happy.. sure... and wanted ot meet me for dinner... but when i told him i was already 1/2 way through dinner his whole mood changed... -.-||| and he told me to stay home and rest instead. after that he wasn't in the mood to talk to me anymore, even though i still told him its okie and we coudl still meet up, but i was worried about our cash flow, and he juz went straight to sleep.
Prolly i'm being a little too sensitive about all this, prolly he's juz tired. but is there really a need to give me this kinda attidute? all i did was worry about his cash.. wat's the point of going out if we have no cash... and when i say no cash i mean not a single cent left. and evevn if we did have cash... i won't mind going wif him for dinner i'll prolly juz get a drink and accompany him while he's eating, the poorthing hasn't eaten the whole day.
guys r so hard to understand... i really do love this boy to bits.. but i really wonder how much more of this i can take. Not that he treats me bad or anything... everything that he doesn't is all sweet and wonderful, i truely appreciate it.. but i dun wanna have to see his temper/attidute for sumthing that i didn't do wrong.. i mean how was i to know she would cancel tution so suddenly, i already got my parents to buy dinner for me.. i couldn't possibly juz throw it away... *sigh* that silly boy has gotta control his temper... prolly we r juz both brats who wan things in our away...
*Sigh* that silly little brat.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
| You Are 15 Years Old |
 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
| You Are 60% Weird |
 You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks! |
| the Shock Jock |
VULGAR | SPONTANEOUS | DARK Your sense of humor is off-the-cuff and kind of gross. Is it is also sinister, cynical, and vaguely threatening to the purer folks of this world. You probably get off on that. You would cut a greasy fart, then blame it on your mom, and then just shrug when someone pointed out that she's dead. Yours is hands-down the most outrageous sense of humor; you like things trangressive and hardcore. It's highly likely (a) you have no limits (b) you have no scruples and (c) you have no job. Ironically, it's your type of humor that can make the biggest bucks in show business. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Howard Stern - Adam Sandler - Roseanne Barr  The 3-Variable Funny Test! - it rules - If you're interested, try my latest: The Terrorism Test |
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
| Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid |
| Your Personality Profile |
 You are pure, moral, and adaptable. You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life... And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye. As a result, people tend to crave your approval. |
| You Are a Margarita |
 You aren't just the life of the party, you are the party! You mix a good drink, bust out some great music, and know how to get down. |
| You are an Atheist |
 When it comes to religion, you're a non-believer (simple as that). You prefer to think about what's known and proven. You don't need religion to solve life's problems. Instead, you tend to work things out with logic and philosophy. |
| Your Kissing Purity Score: 31% Pure |
 You're not one to kiss and tell... But word is, you kiss pretty well. |
Monday, September 12, 2005
This week is when i'm gonna be busy all over again. Starting tution for the kid again today and tmr my new term for my 3D class starts. juz another mth and everything's gonna be over~~ i wonder when does PSLE end... can't wait to get the kid out of my hair. i wanna do my own things... like sleep for one~ hehe
i'm so glad that this week the crazy girl is back! we dun really talk much while working, but at least there is sumone i can disturb if i get too restless.
Matt's been sweet.. as usual... =P we have been on the topic of presents since friday, when i was over at his place... i have already planned and know wat i'm gonna go for him for our anniversary.... 1st year anniversary. As for him he's planning for my xmas present...
Sat night, we were at this pool house waiting for his friend to finish playing his pool b4 we could go for a drink dwn at their god-sis's workplace. during that time, matt was bugging me for hints and clues about his anniversary present. hehe no on will ever guess.
Hint:
(roughly a 6 part present)
cost is about 700-1k
its can start at any time of the day but i would choose the night
nth much to do about food or alcohol
hehe... The next day he told me about my present being 3 parts, and gave be a clue that the 2nd present was sumthing to do with needles... i was all shocked and worried about the whole idea... his borther was there and guessed that it woudl be a jab. i was like O.O WTF!! and started crying like mad... one thing about me, anything is good..... tattoos... piercings.... but no Jabs... he said the jab was to take a way the pain, coz the 3rd part of the present was the extension of my tattoo.. :~~~ . he told me that he heard me saying that i wanna extend my tattoo its juz tat i coudln't take the pain and that was wat's stopping me form extending my tattoo... sweet huh? but he scared the shit outta me...
BTW.. for a (currently showing) good movie i've watch... "The Longest Yard" its a fucking good show, check it out...
For now i'm juz trying to make my blog as long as possible coz i'm damn bored and i wanna try out-blogging my dear Yern, which seems impossible... and i'm waiting for my daddie to pick me up, coz silly me for got to bring my wallet home from matt's place last night... so today i'm currently broke and erm.... broke...
i'm so glad that this week the crazy girl is back! we dun really talk much while working, but at least there is sumone i can disturb if i get too restless.
Matt's been sweet.. as usual... =P we have been on the topic of presents since friday, when i was over at his place... i have already planned and know wat i'm gonna go for him for our anniversary.... 1st year anniversary. As for him he's planning for my xmas present...
Sat night, we were at this pool house waiting for his friend to finish playing his pool b4 we could go for a drink dwn at their god-sis's workplace. during that time, matt was bugging me for hints and clues about his anniversary present. hehe no on will ever guess.
Hint:
(roughly a 6 part present)
cost is about 700-1k
its can start at any time of the day but i would choose the night
nth much to do about food or alcohol
hehe... The next day he told me about my present being 3 parts, and gave be a clue that the 2nd present was sumthing to do with needles... i was all shocked and worried about the whole idea... his borther was there and guessed that it woudl be a jab. i was like O.O WTF!! and started crying like mad... one thing about me, anything is good..... tattoos... piercings.... but no Jabs... he said the jab was to take a way the pain, coz the 3rd part of the present was the extension of my tattoo.. :~~~ . he told me that he heard me saying that i wanna extend my tattoo its juz tat i coudln't take the pain and that was wat's stopping me form extending my tattoo... sweet huh? but he scared the shit outta me...
BTW.. for a (currently showing) good movie i've watch... "The Longest Yard" its a fucking good show, check it out...
For now i'm juz trying to make my blog as long as possible coz i'm damn bored and i wanna try out-blogging my dear Yern, which seems impossible... and i'm waiting for my daddie to pick me up, coz silly me for got to bring my wallet home from matt's place last night... so today i'm currently broke and erm.... broke...